This is Part 2 of our two-part guide on the most common regrets after pet euthanasia. Part 1 covered the decisions made before the appointment. Here we cover the decisions made on the day itself, in the room, and in the weeks that follow.
If you are sitting with a fresh loss, please use what's helpful and leave the rest.
1. "I didn't bring her favourite blanket."
Familiar scent, familiar texture, familiar warmth. The blanket is a small thing. In retrospect, families remember it as one of the kindest details of the day.
How to prevent it:
- Bring a favourite blanket, towel or jumper to lay your pet on. It can also be the wrap she goes home in if you are taking ashes back to the same blanket.
- PetAftercare partner clinics use the family's blanket where possible; if you don't have one, they have soft, dignified alternatives. No one is left lying on a bare table.
2. "I left him alone in the room before it happened."
Some families step out for a few minutes — to use the bathroom, to take a phone call, to bring water — and the procedure happens before they make it back. Or they decide to wait outside and regret it afterwards.
How to prevent it:
- The vet will not begin until you are ready. Say so out loud: "Please don't start until I'm back / until I tell you."
- If you do not want to be in the room, that is okay. Tell the vet team beforehand. Some families say goodbye, leave the room, and the team treats the pet with the same gentleness whether the family is there or not.
- If you change your mind in either direction, say so. There is no wrong choice and no rush.
3. "I didn't say what I needed to say."
Many families realise afterwards they had a sentence in their chest that they didn't get out.
How to prevent it:
- Write it down the night before, in case the words are hard in the room. Read it aloud if you can.
- "I love you. Thank you for everything. You can go now" is enough.
- If your voice gives out, just keep your hand on them. They will know.
4. "I rushed out without a paw print or a fur clipping."
Even when families remember to ask in advance (see Part 1), the day itself can blur and the keepsakes can be forgotten.
How to prevent it:
- Tell the vet team at the start of the appointment: "I'd like a paw print and a clipping of fur." Once it's spoken, they'll add it to the post-appointment care.
- PetAftercare partner clinics include paw prints as standard and have a small range of keepsakes (paw print frame, fur locket, scatter box) you can choose afterwards or that day.
- If a keepsake feels too much in the moment, it's fine to take a clipping of fur into a small bag and decide later. Take. Decide later.
5. "I had to talk about money in the consult room."
Standing at the front desk reading an itemised invoice that includes the word "euthanasia" is a regret almost everyone names.
How to prevent it:
- Pre-pay or settle the invoice over the phone before the appointment.
- A good clinic will do this without you having to ask. If they don't offer, ask them.
- Decline an itemised printed receipt on the day if you'd prefer one emailed later.
6. "I didn't take her home that night."
Some families leave with their pet, some leave without — and whether you regret your choice depends entirely on what you wanted.
How to prevent it:
- Decide in advance whether you'd like to spend the evening at home with your pet (with arrangements for collection the next day) or whether you'd prefer the clinic to take care of everything from there.
- Both are valid. Some families find a quiet evening at home with their pet wrapped in a blanket comforting; others find it unbearable. There is no right answer except your honest one.
- If you want to take them home, your vet can arrange this. Bring a blanket and a basket or box that fits.
7. "I made cremation choices in five minutes at the front desk."
The most common regret in this category. Cremation tiers, keepsakes, and return preferences are decisions worth more than five minutes.
How to prevent it:
- Have the cremation conversation before the day, not after. (See Part 1 #9.)
- Three named tiers (Essential Care, Heritage Return, Signature Private) make the choice quicker without flattening it. If your clinic is a PetAftercare partner, you'll see this structure.
- If you're not sure on the day, "Heritage Return" is the option most families choose and rarely regret.
- It is okay to ask for an extra day to decide whether to add keepsakes — most providers can accommodate this.
8. "I felt rushed by someone in the clinic."
It's almost always not malicious. Sometimes a junior staff member doesn't know how much time families need. Sometimes a busy clinic accidentally signals it.
How to prevent it:
- Book a longer slot. Tell the front desk on the phone: "I'd like as long as we need, please."
- Speak up in the moment. A simple "Could we have five more minutes?" will be honoured.
- If the clinic feels rushed, it is okay to remember that for next time and choose differently. If it never happens again, that is what the choice was for.
9. "I didn't follow up afterwards."
Some families never go back to the clinic, never collect the ashes themselves, never write a thank-you note, never tell the vet team how they're doing — and later wish they had.
How to prevent it:
- A simple email or card to the vet team a week or two later, naming your pet and saying thank you, is meaningful for them and a small ritual for you.
- If your pet's ashes have been returned via the clinic, take a few minutes when you collect them. Many families say it is a quietly important moment.
- If you have unanswered questions weeks later, the clinic is still your clinic. They will pick up the phone.
10. "I didn't talk to anyone about how I was feeling, afterwards."
The night after, the week after, the month after, the year after.
How to prevent it:
- Use the resources we list at the pet loss support guide.
- 1737 (Need to Talk?), Lifeline (0800 543 354), Samaritans (0800 726 666) — free, in NZ, anytime, and pet grief is a valid reason.
- Talk to your GP if grief is not gradually shifting after a few months. PGD is real and treatable. (See our PGD signs post.)
- Tell the people who knew your pet. Use their name. The naming is the medicine.
A small and uncomfortable truth: every grieving family has at least one regret. Even the families who do everything thoughtfully will look back and wish for one detail back. That is grief, not failure.
The aim of this guide is not regret-free euthanasia. It is fewer and smaller regrets. The big ones — that you should have decided earlier or later, that you should have taken a paw print, that you didn't get to bring her favourite blanket — are mostly preventable. The small ones are part of carrying love.
We are sorry. You did your best.
Companion: Part 1 — Before you say goodbye. PetAftercare partners with NZ vet clinics to make this whole journey calmer and clearer. Ask your vet whether they're a partner — or get in touch.