There is no right way to remember a pet. There is only what feels true to you. Some families want a ritual. Some want a quiet object on a shelf. Some want both. Some want neither, and that's fine too.
Here are eight ways our families tell us they have honoured the animals they loved — and where useful, the NZ-made keepsakes we offer through partner clinics to help.
1. A paw print, kept somewhere quiet
A clay or ink paw print taken on the day is often the keepsake families say they're most grateful for, years later. It captures something specific to your animal — the size, the asymmetry, the way one toe always splayed wider than the rest.
Most NZ vet clinics will do this on the day if you ask. PetAftercare partner clinics include it as standard with a paw-print and fur clipping.
If you've already lost your pet without a print, an etched silhouette on a small tile is a gentle alternative; several NZ ceramicists make these.
2. A fur locket
A small, almost weightless thing. A few strands of fur sealed in a glass locket on a chain. It sounds sentimental until you wear one, and then it sounds essential.
Our fur locket is hand-finished by an NZ artisan and arrives with a tiny tool to seal it yourself. People who told us they'd never wear a locket end up wearing this one.
3. A scatter box for ashes
Not everyone scatters straight away. Many families hold ashes for months, or never scatter at all. A beautifully made scatter box gives you both options — somewhere dignified to keep them, and a way to release them when and if you're ready.
Our scatter boxes are made in New Zealand from native and sustainably-sourced timbers. They're designed to live on a shelf without looking like they live on a shelf.
If you do choose to scatter, do read our separate guide on scattering pet ashes in NZ waters — there are some legal and cultural considerations worth knowing.
4. A native tree in their name
Few things feel as right as planting something that will outlive your grief.
Through Trees That Count, you can dedicate a native tree — a pohutukawa, kowhai, totara, kahikatea, or rata — somewhere it can grow into the New Zealand landscape, in your pet's name. If you have the garden for it, you can plant your own.
Some families plant the tree on the same day as the goodbye. Others wait until spring, or until a child is ready to dig. Either is right.
5. A letter you write but don't send
Sit down once, in your own time, and write the things you didn't get to say. The walks. The bad habits you secretly loved. The way they always knew when you'd had a hard day. What they taught you. What you wish you'd done differently.
Read it aloud somewhere quiet. Burn it, bury it, fold it into a tin, or keep it on the shelf with the scatter box. The point is the saying.
If you have children, this is an especially gentle ritual to do together.
6. A small ceremony with the people who knew them
Not a funeral. Just a few people who loved your pet — partner, kids, the neighbour who fed them when you were away.
Bring something they loved (the tennis ball, the lead, the ratty blanket they refused to give up). Light a candle. Take turns saying one memory. End with something they would have approved of: a piece of cheese, a walk to their favourite spot, a long pat for the surviving pets.
It does not have to be planned or polished. The wobble in your voice is the point.
7. Mark Matariki
The Maori new year is, among other things, a time to remember those who have died in the year past. For many New Zealand families, that has come to include the pets they have loved.
Light a candle in the early morning. Name them. Let their name go up with the others. Some families add a star or photo to a Matariki mantel; some plant a tree the same week.
It is a ritual that lives well in a year that needs more than one moment of remembering.
8. A photograph, framed properly
This is the one almost everyone forgets, and almost everyone wishes they hadn't.
Find your favourite photo — not necessarily the technically best one; the one where their personality is loudest. Get it printed and framed properly, the way you would frame a photograph of a person you love. Put it somewhere visible, not in a drawer.
Years from now, when grief has softened into fondness, that frame is what your future self will be glad you made.
A note on keepsakes that don't feel right
Plenty of memorial products exist that won't feel right for your family. That is fine. There is no obligation to make something out of grief. The most-used keepsake our families ever describe is a scrap of fur in a kitchen drawer, never moved.
What you make, or don't make, is yours.
The keepsakes mentioned here — paw print frames, fur lockets, scatter boxes, sympathy cards — are part of the PetAftercare keepsake range, handcrafted in New Zealand and supplied through our partner vet clinics. If your clinic isn't yet a partner, ask them about us.